Coping with a Child’s Cancer
It isn't easy dealing with a child's cancer diagnosis. It's a unique journey for everyone, and if you struggle to cope, you need to know you're not alone.
Here are some valuable tips for parents facing a child's cancer diagnosis:
Draw from past success: Use strategies or problem-solving techniques that have been effective for you in the past. This can help you feel like you're maintaining a sense of control.
Acknowledge your emotions: Trying to suppress your feelings won't do any good. It’s best to embrace and acknowledge all of your feelings, giving them the time necessary before letting them go. Understand that there will be ups and downs, regardless of how well you've handled the situation before.
Accept help: It can be hard to ask someone for help. If you need help finding the strength, remember that parents who’ve been through this before not only know the struggle you’re facing better than anyone, they’re ready and available to offer emotional as well as practical support. People will genuinely want to do things for you. It can help to make a list of specific things you need help with, such as babysitting, pet care, carpooling, grocery shopping, cooking, housework, or yard work.
Keep a personal journal: Documenting your thoughts and emotions in a journal is very therapeutic, allowing you to reflect on and navigate your feelings.
Self-care and relaxation: Make time for yourself without feeling guilty. Activities such as meditation, walking, exercising, listening to music, or even just enjoying a hot bath or a nice meal are essential. Maintain your health through good nutrition, sufficient sleep, and exercise – but don't be hard on yourself if you're not always able to keep up. Exercise a level of gentleness towards yourself. If possible, share your responsibilities with your spouse or another support person when staying with your child in the hospital or attending appointments.
Attending appointments with support: Bringing a friend or family member to medical appointments can help you keep track of important information, as well as to remember to ask the questions you might forget/overlook. Plus, it's comforting to have someone with you.
Engage in family activities: Incorporate activities into your family's routine, like outside sports, watching movies, playing games, and anything that just brings you joy. These activities can provide a much-needed distraction from the challenges you're facing. Plan something special for days when your child feels well.
Seek the proper support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings and hopes. You may also want to explore support groups and counseling services. Look into various types of support services that can align with your specific needs, whether that's individual counseling, online support groups, or even blogs. Joining an online community or having one-on-one discussions with other parents who've experienced childhood cancer can help provide you with the understanding and connection you need.
Prioritizing and focusing: Determine what's essential for you each day or week, focusing your time and energy on the things that make you feel good and avoiding situations that can cause you more distress. Be open about your needs and boundaries, even with well-intentioned friends and family.
